DONG:
(ONE BREATH) Hey there, thought you'd like these behind the scenes pictures I found when we were going through the tapes to put all the stuff where we went wrong back in 2004 on up here over the weekend so take a look and-
(PASSES OUT. NO BREATH)
WOOSTA:
(ALONE. BEAT.)
Leave a comment. Or something.
(TO FLOOR)
You alright there Dong?
DONG: (OFFSCREEN)
(gasp)
CLICK HERE for all ourPHOTOS posts
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/Photos
AweBOT1 on time. AweBOT1 order - stop annoying twitterpeople.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #3
Get an Anthem for PARTYFUNTIME2022
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #2
DONG find Princess.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #1
Friends, Fans, Followers = HELPERS
BLOG
NEED 1,000 Posts
- ACTUAL 29
NEED 1,000,000 Eyeball hits
- ACTUAL 525
NEED 10,000 Email subscribers
- ACTUAL (STILL ONLY) 3
FAIL.
NEED 1,000,000 Profile Views
- ACTUAL 214
NEED 100,000 Friends
- ACTUAL 114
FAIL.
NEED 10,000 updates
- ACTUAL 97
NEED Follow 10,000
- ACTUAL 180
NEED 100,000 followers
- ACTUAL 146
FAIL.
NEED 100 videos uploaded
- ACTUAL 7
NEED 1,000,000 total video views
- ACTUAL 615
NEED 100,000 channel views
- ACTUAL 163
NEED 1000 subscribers
- ACTUAL 4
FAIL.
AWEBOT1 QUANTIFY:
subscribers + friends + followers + subscribers = Helpers
3 + 114 + 146 + 4 = 267.
HELPERS MUST EQUAL 1,000,000 OR MORE.
267 NOT EQUAL 1,000,000.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
WOOSTA AND DONG STAY.
That is all.
-- AweBOT1
WOOSTA:
We tried to get up on E-t culture when we were here back in 2004.
We did it by watching as many videos as possible.
After about 8, Dong hit mission fail and we got sent back to aLF cENT.DONG:
Or as we'd say locally... F-ing A.
WOOSTA:
So now we're back our bosses have given us a bit more time,
and instead of using one channel, we're working things out here as a web series.
DONG:
So we can communicate with you two ways...
WOOSTA:
We've got to get as many eyeballs to get as many Helpers...
DONG:
The more helpers we get - the smoother everything will go in PARTYFUNTIME2022.
WOOSTA:
Soon as we get a million Helpers...
DONG:
...we are outty!
WOOSTA:
Looks like the AB's are counting Helpers as
friends on bebo
subscribers on YouTube
friends on facebook
or signups on the blog here by EMAIL.
DONG:
And eyeballs are all over the place.
Just like yours Woosta.
WOOSTA:
So if you wanna help us out by watching our stuff, or add us as a friend.
DONG:
A friend is just an alien you haven't yet helped".
WOOSTA:
That's... quite a good thing you got there Dong.
DONG:
Can we use it as our catchphrase then?
WOOSTA:
No.
DONG:
If you want to get in touch with us-
WOOSTA:
Leave a comment.
DONG:
If you want to send any feedback or any form of message-
WOOSTA:
Leave a comment.
DONG:
If you REALLY want to get in touch with us...
WOOSTA:
We're on woostandong
at gmail
dot com
WOOSTA & DONG X
DONG:
Ah, Donna Griffiths, sneezing girl.WOOSTA:
Yeah, sneezy girl. I kinda liked this vid - glad we put this one up early on.
DONG:
Wonder what's she's doing now.
WOOSTA:
Another box of kleenex. They didn't have bebo and the Internet and all that back then.
DONG:
Just bodily functions.
WOOSTA:
That's what 12 year old girls did.
DONG:
Just bodily functions.
WOOSTA:
She wouldn't've been able to see the screen anyway.
It'll all've been covered.
DONG:
By the bodily functions.
CLICK HERE for all our VIDEOS
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/VIDEOS
WOOSTA:
Okay - it's Thursday... and that can mean only one thing.
VIEWER MAIL.DONG:
Yeah, but this is like the first time we've done this. So let us guide you gently over to our Inbox. First message.
DONG:
Becci writes on our bebo profile: "You have just made me smile, so I don't need anymore help, kind puppets!"
WOOSTA:
Cinch. G'nite, see you next week.
DONG:
No, we got some more here. And she goes on,- "You are so cute."
WOOSTA:
Okay, - she hasn't seen the old vids we put up. Good. Next message.
DONG:
James, Laura, and Darren from RentalBoys, ask "Who are you? No seriously who are you? Are you a cult?"
WOOSTA:
So we told them we came here back in 2004 - but Dongey screwed up and we blew the mission, and now we're sent back again to get more helpers for the Event we're organising in 2022 & we're doing it as a web show...
(TAKES BREATH)
DONG:
The more videos we make, the more eyeballs we get, the more Helpers we'll have for PARTYFUNTIME2022.
WOOSTA:
We'll put the old videos up. Get feedback. And make some new ones anyway.
DONG:
Next message is from Joanne - also via the bebo.
DONG:
(READS) yea kewl beans em hu are yas or wha do yas do lyk?
WOOSTA:
Hmm, good question Jo-Jo. We study E-t culture mainly by watching vids. Hundreds and hundreds of vids. Our plan is if we make enough vids of us watching vids, then we'll get more eyeball time, and more E-tings adding us as friends and finally finish our first mission! Yay! 
DONG:
That is, like, so profound.
WOOSTA:
"Boys get out more". Maybe they do Phil. Maybe they do.
[AWKWARD PAUSE]
WOOSTA:
We... wouldn't know. We're not experts.
[MORE AWKWARD PAUSE]
DONG:
Well thanks for that Phil.
WOOSTA:
Yeah - send us another message - looking forward to it.
DONG:
The wisdom of Phil.
WOOSTA:
This is from the Facebook account we opened and haven't told anyone about.
DONG:
"Þú ert sætur.. Hvor ert þú?" - I don't think I'm saying it right, W.
WOOSTA:
And we can't find an online Icelandic to aLF cENT translator thing.
DONG:
Great to hear from you though. That's near where we landed.
DONG:
"U.R. funny. saw the UCAS u filled out -maybe you could do mine as well hehe"
WOOSTA:
No. No we can't. Do we look like some kind of sixth form substitute fill-in-
DONG:
I've done it already, W.
And managed not to bring down the UCAS servers this time.
WOOSTA:
Oh, kewl. Great question, thanks Jeni.
WOOSTA:
You know, Dong, - I still think there's something not right about your
E-t words there. It just doesn't look right.
DONG:
That's because I SUCK at the languages, and you don't.
WOOSTA:
Yeah, I still don't think you're using them right.
Anyway, there goes the Viewer Mail this week.
You can leave comments on our bebo, facebook, twitter, or right here
by clicking on COMMENTS below.
CLICK HERE for all our VIEWER MAIL (when we get some more).
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/Viewer%20Mail
WOOSTA and DONG X
WOOSTA:
This is the home for our "CONTACT US".
So what are you thinking?
What's on your mind?
What can we do for you?
What do you want to tell us?
Tell us. Go on. TELL US.
(Just click on COMMENTS below.
Or twat us on twitter at @woostandong
or leave a comment on our bebo profile...)
W X
DONG:
Hi there.
I've got to find a Princess for PARTYFUNTIME2022 - And THIS WEEK I think I've definitely found her.
(Don't worry about the weirdy rudey still below - I've checked the vid, and it's totally wholesome, and fit for a Princess of my Province.)
Hey, the music could also be, like, another ANTHEM FOR PFT22.
We'll see if she ends up being The One. In the meantime...
Have you got a Princess for me? Just leave a COMMENT below!
CLICK HERE for all my PRINCESS FOR DONG posts
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/Princess%20for%20Dong
DONG DONE DIS.
DONG:
Okay, so it's Tuesday and we've got to, like, find an Anthem for PARTYFUNTIME2022.
Any ideas?
All we've come up with this week is this guy:
But we think AweBOT1's totally gonna go for this.
Just in case he doesn't - have you, like, got a suggestion for a tune that would make a great Anthem for PFT22?
Just leave a comment in COMMENTS underneath - it'd be great to have a backup plan.
DONG DONE DIS X.
DONG:
Hi there,
This is where we'll try and put all our videos once they've gone up.
If we've left any out, leave us a COMMENT below!
If you want us to make a video, or give you a shout, leave a comment in COMMENTS below!
Or CLICK HERE for our latest posts on Videos
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/Videos
WOOSTA and DONG x
Ep1 A Welcome Message from WOOSTA and DONG and winkie
Ep2 CLASSIFIED AD BREAK - HELP! - SEND US MORE - Woosta and Dong -
Ep3 - MISSIONFAIL2004 - WOOSTA and DONG And The Sneezing Girl
DONG:
Okay, so this is the first video we made -- it's the only take we could use. And I'm not sure we can even use this one.WOOSTA:
Yeah - I'm so embarrassed - look at me - standing on the wrong side there like a shaznut.
DONG:
I think you're s'posed to be, like, welcoming people?
Not going on about your Winkie.
WOOSTA:
Winkie deserves welcoming to everyone.
The world deserves a welcome to Winkie.
DONG:
Anyway, what do YOU think? You can totally leave you comments by clicking on the word COMMENTS below.
And CLICK HERE for all our posts about our VIDEOS.
http://woostandong.blogspot.com/search/label/Videos
AweBOT1 on time. AweBOT1 order you - clean up this website.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #3
Get an Anthem for PARTYFUNTIME2022
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #2
DONG find Princess.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #1
Friends, Fans, Followers = HELPERSBLOG
NEED 1,000 Posts
- ACTUAL 20
NEED 1,000,000,000 Eyeball hits
- ACTUAL 325
NEED 10,000 Email subscribers
- ACTUAL 3
FAIL.
NEED 1,000,000,000 Profile Views
- ACTUAL 129
NEED 100,000 Friends
- ACTUAL 86
FAIL.
NEED 10,000 updates
- ACTUAL 50
NEED Follow 10,000
- ACTUAL 517
NEED 100,000 followers
- ACTUAL 61
FAIL.
NEED 100 videos uploaded
- ACTUAL 7
NEED 1,000,000 total video views
- ACTUAL 444
NEED 100,000 channel views
- ACTUAL 92
NEED 1000 subscribers
- ACTUAL 3
FAIL.
AWEBOT1 QUANTIFY:
subscribers + friends + followers + subscribers = Helpers
3 + 86 + 61 + 3 = 153.
HELPERS MUST EQUAL 1,000,000 OR MORE.
153 NOT EQUAL 1,000,000,000.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
WOOSTA AND DONG STAY IN EARTH.
That is all.
-- AweBOT1
DONG:
GET our stuff by E-mail all just by clicking on the link below.
Subscribe to Woosta and Dong by Email
Woosta says he writes them, but I think it's an automatic digest of all our posts assembled automatically. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds kinda cool.
X
DONG:
Okay, so the first week's not going so good - y'know with the whole 999,999,946 Helpers short thing - but we've got some great stuff coming... honest.
We even tried reaching out to some students:
Woosta went nuts on the twitter login & followed everyone posting word "exams"
"cause they have brains and work hard
and they have time on their hands in 2022".
We followed some people with the word exams in their tweets, and they like followed us for about 5 minutes, then unfollowed us when they saw our profile.
So then Woosta tried following everyone posting the word "UCAS"
"cause they have brains and work hard
and they have time on their hands in 2022".
And we ended up trying to help out one tweeter.
Here's how the conversation went.
We have disguised her and her profile to protect her UCAS application.
"OUR logic" - yay! - She's with us... and is now a Helper!
"flawed" - That's not good, though, is it.
So... I went ahead and filled in her UCAS form for her and sent it in.
If WE can help with your student stuff, leave us a COMMENT below.
DONG DONE DIS.
DONG:
We got our pictures the wrong way round.
Okay, I got our pictures the wrong way round, okay.
So here's a square picture of us the right way round.
That's Woosta, the thing of Red on the left, and me, Dong on the right now.
Like Dec 'n' Ant always stand the right way round.
Let's never speak of this again.
DONG DONE DIS.
AweBOT1 Assessment late. AweBOT1 change mission numbers. No apology.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #3
Get an Anthem for PARTYFUNTIME2022
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #2
DONG find Princess.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
MISSION OBJECTIVE #1
Friends, Fans, Followers = HELPERSBLOG
NEED 1,000 Posts
- ACTUAL 17
NEED 1,000,000,000 Eyeball hits
- ACTUAL 198
NEED 10,000 Email subscribers
- ACTUAL 2
FAIL.
NEED 1,000,000,000 Profile Views
- ACTUAL 30
NEED 100,000 Friends
- ACTUAL 29
FAIL.
NEED 10,000 updates
- ACTUAL 20
NEED Follow 10,000
- ACTUAL 123
NEED 100,000 followers
- ACTUAL 20
FAIL.
NEED 100 videos uploaded
- ACTUAL 2
NEED 1,000,000 total video views
- ACTUAL 105
NEED 100,000 channel views
- ACTUAL 62
NEED 1000 subscribers
- ACTUAL 3
FAIL.
AWEBOT1 QUANTIFY:
subscribers + friends + followers + subscribers = Helpers
2 + 29 + 20 + 3 = 54.
HELPERS MUST EQUAL 1,000,000 OR MORE.
54 NOT EQUAL 1,000,000,000.
WOOSTA AND DONG FAIL.
WOOSTA AND DONG STAY IN EARTH.
That is all.
-- AweBOT1
A WELCOME MESSAGE FROM US... x
